1 Corinthians 7
Singles are those without a spouse, including the unmarried, divorcees, and sometimes the widowed. The scriptures don’t set an absolute standard for marriage for anyone. Scripture teaches that each person seeks the will of God for their life. For some, it will lead to marriage. For others, it will be a single’s life.
In the Christian culture, singleness often seems an anomaly. I can’t imagine how many singles have had to answer church folk’s awkwardly asked questions of, “Where’s your husband?” “Are you not married?” why, when are you getting married, what are you waiting for? And many such questions. You hear the silent “tsk” over your single state and been told events are couples only or for married women only. Although there are single and unmarried men around, it seems the stigma of singleness is only reserved for women.
When communities tailor activities around families and couples, it makes the singles unimportant and defensive yet most of Apostle Paul’s teaching was an encouragement to the unmarried.
Single or married, our purpose is the same, to serve and honour God and serve others.
But what if I want to marry? Is that wrong?
God made men and women for each other. It is good when the right mates find each other, Proverbs 18:22, and tragic when a marriage falls apart and short of God’s glorious plan. Genesis 2:18.
People should not feel pressured to get married or remain single. Ask God to lead you concerning marriage and the right marriage partner. 1 Corinthians 7:38.
It’s not wrong to want to be married. However, we often overlooked singleness as a protection from being in a terrible, unbiblical marriage. While many Christian singles wish they were married, one way they might be able to appreciate their singleness more is by realizing how unhappy they could be if they were trapped in a dysfunctional marriage. Proverbs 21:9, be careful who you marry! It is better to be single than to marry someone who does not love God, who cheats on you, abuses and beats you or just ignore and neglect you.
The Bible says singleness is a gift because it gives you a greater opportunity to focus on God, but the world says it’s a fatal flaw if you are not married and that may be due to your “attitude, personality, appearances, behaviour and anything else that fits.”
Singleness may give you more undivided attention for ministry, 1 Corinthians 7:32-38, in singleness, serve the Lord fervently and avoid people who make the singles feel like they need a spouse for completion and affirmation. That can only be found in the Lord. Marriage is not the final solution to our problems; God is!
Marriage is a gracious, good gift from God. As Proverbs 31:10-12 exclaims, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Amen!
But at the same time, if God is not at the centre of your life and you think a husband would be, that marriage would create more problems than it solves. Without the Lord at the centre, marriage just brings together two self-centred people seeking self-fulfilment from one another. It doesn’t work. Put God at the centre of your life. Pray that He will bring you a mate with the same commitment. Then joyfully serve Him together.
Shalom